Cosmopolitan Pokes Fun at Festival-Goer’s ‘Outrageous Music Festival Fashion’

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The spectrum of festival fashion ranges from pedestrian to the outlandish, and almost everything in between is a parade of bare skin. Some go for function whereas others go for the limelight. It can be as simple as a tank and cargo shorts or as elaborate as a homemade Mr. Freeze costume with a light up helmet to bring the outfit full circle. This pageantry at festivals is a spectacle of creativity and individual expression that adds the final touch of color to complete the package and a pinch of madness that makes the experience all the more special and memorable.

Now, festival season is about to kick off with Ultra Music Festival in Miami this weekend. The fashion police at Cosmopolitan magazine decided it would be a great idea to comment on certain trends in the festival world last week since music festivals are the hot thing right now. Entitled “15 Completely Insane Outfits You Can Only Wear At Coachella“, the post on Cosmo’s website is a collection of Google Search and Instagram pictures of fun loving people at various festivals, most of which are NOT from Coachella. We’ll let this mistake slide since Cosmopolitan isn’t a go to source for festival news and insight.

It’s the haughty approach in the commentary by the post’s author, Charles Manning, that leaves one with a shaking head and grumbling contempt. Written in the voice of what sounds like a high school mean girl pissed that she wasn’t invited to the party, the post hastily runs through the 15 looks with comments like “You can literally only dress like this if you have a mask to conceal your identity. Vagazzled bikini bottoms and fur boots? I can’t!”. You can’t what? Get over the fact that people are having a good time and couldn’t care less about what other people think? Another picture of a kandi adorned couple kissing each other is ridiculed by Manning with the assumption that the girl’s kandi headband “…must be cutting off the circulation to her brain and affecting her judgement. Why else would she be kissing that guy? He’s wearing cargo shorts.” When the hell did cargo shorts become such a fashion faux pas? And, what else is a guy suppose to wear to a festival during the middle of the summer? A 5 piece suit from Hugo Boss?

The post nitpicks and jokes yet the same details are considered forward thinking fashion when sported by a celeb or model. For example, it’s so totes not cool to wear your bra as a shirt. But, put one on Miley and pair it with a fur piece made out of poached evil minions from Despicable Me 2, it’s so edgy.

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Apparently, fringe makes Manning cringe especially when it’s not in the right places or used in excess. Korean celebrity, Hyori, can rock it at a festival AND the local convenient store because she’s hotter than you.

Floral crown, floral crop top, cut off shorts, and all white? Manning is willing to let these accessories and styles play out in real life but never all at once. So, if you’re not doing it like Vanessa Hudgens, GTFO.

 

Honestly, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and people will always take sarcastic jabs at something they’re not a part of. In that sense, this article and the one it is rebutting are similar but differ in target and purpose. The Cosmopolitan post degrades a culture it knows very little about yet happy to capitalize on with “Vanessa Hudgens Coachella Fashion” spreads. It perpetuates this idea that celebrities are holier than thou, and it’s a crime for your average citizen to deviate from what is considered the norm by magazines like Cosmopolitan. What may seem silly, hideous, or ridiculous are given a pass if worn by the rich and famous and carries a luxury brand name tag.

That kind of petty separation and judgement is the antithesis of festival culture. People, young and old, transform themselves to celebrate music and life for just a few days in an inclusive environment where most don’t judge you based on material wealth or appearance. We get heated about music genres and why our favorite DJ/band/artist is number one, not over what someone is wearing. The writer of the post should try out a festival, learn to let go, and have fun instead of stressing out about what everyone is wearing.

Articles like these aren’t surprising as festivals and EDM are hot button issues at the moment. What is shocking is the fact that an editor somewhere let this fantastic piece of journalism slip through. However, “15 Completely Insane Outfits You Can Only Wear At Coachella” did one thing right. The pictures are of people in their real skin unabashedly living life to the fullest whereas this article is full of photoshopped celebrities. Other than that, Cosmo and its blog writers should stick to what they do best: telling women how to please their man and what make up achieves the best smokey eye.